The Mad MAGA Hatter
What's the deal with Dan Bongino and the Epstein Files?
Erethismus mercurialis—erethism—is a neurological disorder caused by exposure to mercury. It was a common complaint of hat-makers, who used mercuric nitrate to work the felt.
Low-level exposure to mercury causes fine tremors; so many hat-makers in Danbury, Connecticut, once a hub of haberdashery, suffered from erethism that the tremors became known as the “Danbury shakes.” Higher levels of mercury exposure cause psychotic issues, including irritability, anxiety, depression, memory loss, and delirium. In short, acute mercury exposure makes you lose your mind. Hence, “mad as a hatter.”
The President and his propagandists often invoke Trump Derangement Syndrome. One of his more obsequious lickspittles, Rep. Warren Davidson (R-OH), went so far as to introduce a bill, the “Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) Research Act of 2025,” that aimed to “direct the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to study the psychological and social roots of what is known as Trump Derangement Syndrome, a phenomenon marked by extreme negative reactions to President Donald J. Trump.”
“TDS has divided families, the country, and led to nationwide violence—including two assassination attempts on President Trump. The TDS Research Act would require the NIH to study this toxic state of mind, so we can understand the root cause and identify solutions,” Davidson said, in one of the dumbest statements in U.S. history. “Instead of funding ludicrous studies such as giving methamphetamine to cats or teaching monkeys to gamble for their drinking water, the NIH should use that funding to research issues that are relevant to the real world.”
“TDS” is not a real thing. But MAGA, it seems to me, is like mercuric nitrate—a toxic compound. Too much exposure really does cause irritability, anxiety, delirium, and mass delusion in human beings who were once perfectly normal.
Consider how many MAGA who didn’t start off like this. Like, John Solomon was once the assistant bureau chief in Washington for the Associated Press, an organization as staid and by-the-book as it gets. Kash Patel used to be a public defender in Florida. Dr. Mehmet Oz was a heart surgeon who once performed a successful heart transplant for Joe Torre’s brother. Pete Hegseth got into Princeton, a school I didn’t even bother applying to. Todd Blanche headed the Southern District of New York’s violent crimes unit, working closely with Mimi Rocah. Kristi Noem was the South Dakota Snow Queen of 1990. There was even a time, many centuries ago, that Stephen Miller wasn’t an undead nosferatu who slept in a coffin.
They are all MAGA hatters who went MAGA mad.
Another example: Dan Bongino, host of the popular MAGA podcast The Dan Bongino Show, used to be a New York City cop and a special agent of the U.S. Secret Service, where he served on protection detail for George W. Bush and Barak Obama. He was actually good at these law enforcement jobs. How the mighty are fallen! Unlike, say, Tucker Carlson, who occasionally provides useful interviews, Bongino’s podcast is nothing but empty calories of rightwing rage-bait and conspiratorial bunk. It’s hard for me to conceive of Bongino as anything but a clown—a comic relief basso in the opera buffa that is MAGA.
“Clown” is not my assessment. I took that from a report sent to Congress in November 2025 by an “alliance” of former and active FBI agents and analysts who were critical of his work as the Bureau’s Deputy Director—a position he held for ten dizzying months, from March 2025 through early January of this year. The report suggests that his performance as the FBI’s number two was…number two.
Here are some highlights:
And:
Yikes.
Of all the Bizarro World appointments in Trump’s second term—and there have been scores—Bongino’s always struck me as the most curious. I get why Donald wanted Kash Patel to head the Bureau. Patel is a loyalist, a bootlicker, a J6 insider, and, because of his experience as designee for Trump’s presidential records, an expert on which incriminating documents the FBI might have in its archives. But when you appoint an outsider like Patel to the top job, you typically want a deputy who’s an experienced hand—someone with vast institutional knowledge who can be leaned on for help navigating the organization. Bongino ain’t that.
That Bongino had a podcast was irrelevant; former FBI executives Andy McCabe and Frank Figliuzzi have had podcasts, and both of them are quite capable of running the Bureau, as they’ve demonstrated. The issue with Bongino was his lack of relevant work experience. The guy hadn’t worked in government for years, and even then it was for the Secret Service. What real assistance could Bongino possibly have offered Patel? And if he wasn’t brought in to actually help run the Bureau, then why was he brought in? What, precisely, was he tasked to do? Why did he take the job? And why did he leave it so quickly and so abruptly? Was it really because he missed his podcast—and the big bucks the podcast generated? Or was it something else entirely?
Bongino has been in the news lately. For one thing, he’s in a public spat with Carlson, who claims Bongino told him that Donald Trump himself shut down the FBI’s investigation into the Butler, Pa. assassination attempt—an allegation Bongino vehemently denies. More importantly, he seems to have been a prominent source for the new book by Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan, who write about a secret meeting in the Situation Room where JD Vance, Susie Wiles, and other Trump loyalists discussed how to handle the Epstein Files fallout.
During the Biden years, Bongino, like many MAGA media members, had loudly demanded the truth about the Epstein Files. As the journalists report:
On “The Dan Bongino Show,” Bongino’s background as a Secret Service agent had lent authority to his claims of a cover-up. “What the hell are they hiding with Jeffrey Epstein?” he’d asked his large audience of MAGA devotees. The release of the client list would “rock the political world,” he predicted. The “Washington swamp” was “not telling you the truth.”
On his podcast, Bongino was routinely critical of the FBI. As the New York Times reported in April: “Like many of Mr. Trump’s allies, Mr. Bongino has repeatedly ridiculed the F.B.I., calling it corrupt, denouncing its agents as thugs and floating conspiracy theories about the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol as he gained traction as a right-wing pundit.”
If Bongino vowed to clean up the Bureau and get to the truth about Epstein, but wound up doing neither, he’d risk alienating his MAGA audience, on whom his livelihood depended.
This was always going to be an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force. It was just a matter of time before the violent collision. In this case, it took four months. Things came to a head last summer.
The timeline is instructive:
July 7, 2025
The FBI and the DOJ release an unsigned joint memo, stating that a “systematic review” of the Files “revealed no incriminating ‘client list’”—a claim that contradicts Attorney General Pam Bondi’s earlier “on my desk” assertions. “There was also no credible evidence found that Epstein blackmailed prominent individuals as part of his actions. We did not uncover evidence that could predicate an investigation against uncharged third parties.” The memo also says, “After a thorough investigation, FBI investigators concluded that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City on August 10, 2019.”
Later that day, as Haberman and Swan write in their book,
Bongino showed up to a daily Justice Department meeting with the F.B.I. staff and the attorney general. He was in a volcanic mood. As soon as he entered the room, he erupted at Bondi, shouting at her.
“You fucked this thing up from the start,” Bongino yelled. “The way you’ve been talking about this — that dumb fucking charade with the Epstein files, the ‘They’re on my desk’ nonsense, all the promises to the folks out there.”
Patel and Bongino both subsequently told a White House official that Bondi needed to resign.
July 9, 2025
Bongino is summoned to a meeting by White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, who accuses him of leaking a story about Bondi. He denies it. Then, as Haberman and Swan report, this happened:
“I’ll tell you what,” Bongino replied. “I’ll give you $100,000 cash right now. I’m not kidding. Walk out to West Exec, put that reporter on speaker and get him to admit I leaked it. A hundred thousand dollars.”
Wiles snapped back, “Well, we all got ourselves into this —— ”
Bongino cut her off.
“No, no, no, no, no. We didn’t get ourselves into anything. I warned you guys about this the whole time, and you ignored me. And exactly what I said was going to happen happened. And now you’re pretending I was in on this. I was never in on this.”
Bongino’s aggressive response to Wiles startled the others; she was the White House chief of staff, essentially a stand-in for the president. Wiles put Bongino on the spot. “Going forward,” she said, “we’re all in. We’re all going to agree to move forward. Are you in or not?”
“No, I’m not,” Bongino said. “This is not my plan. I’m not part of this going forward. Forget it. I’m out of here.” He stormed out of the Situation Room and onto West Executive Avenue, where he climbed into the back of Patel’s armored S.U.V. and directed the driver to take him to F.B.I. headquarters.
July 11, 2025
The New York Times reports that Bongino and Bondi got in a tiff about the contents of that memo. In “an angry face-to-face confrontation at the White House…an irate Ms. Bondi accused Mr. Bongino of leaking information to the news media in the presence of the F.B.I. director, Kash Patel, the White House chief of staff Susie Wiles and one of her deputies, Taylor Budowich. Mr. Bongino denied it, they said.”
And:
Mr. Bongino, during another confrontation within the past week, told Ms. Bondi she had overhyped the likelihood that a review of the case undertaken by the Justice Department and F.B.I. this year would reveal a list of Mr. Epstein’s sex-trafficking clients, and possibly raise questions about his 2019 death by hanging in custody, which was ruled a suicide.
The Times also reports that Bongino had threatened to resign:
On Friday, a high-profile Bongino booster — the far-right influencer and conspiracist Laura Loomer — claimed, in two dramatic social media posts, that the bureau’s deputy director had taken Friday off to collect his thoughts, and was “now seriously thinking about RESIGNING” over Ms. Bondi’s actions in the Epstein case.
That he did not show up to work that day only fuels more speculation.
Ultimately, cooler heads prevail, and Bongino agrees to stay on.
July 18, 2025
Democrat Dick Durbin, the ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, sends Bongino a letter, writing:
Prior to becoming FBI Deputy Director, you spent years as a private citizen making claims about the Jeffrey Epstein case. For example, you stated: “That Jeffrey Epstein story is a big deal. Please do not let that story go. Keep your eye on it.” On July 11, far-right activist Laura Loomer claimed that you and FBI Director Patel “[were] livid with [Attorney General Bondi] over her DOJ Memo and the lack of transparency from her office regarding the Jeffrey Epstein files.” Subsequent public reporting indicates this apparent dispute came to a head at a meeting between White House, DOJ, and FBI officials that you and Director Patel attended, leading to claims that you may resign from your position over these issues. You have made no public statements since these reports have come out, but reports have emerged that the dispute may have been related to Attorney General Bondi accusing you of leaking to NewsNation a story critical of her for allegedly preventing the FBI from releasing more Epstein-related records.
Durbin then requests answers to a number of thorny questions related to the Epstein Files, including:
Have you personally reviewed all files in DOJ’s possession related to Jeffrey Epstein?
Is the FBI in possession of further Epstein-related records that DOJ has not reviewed?
Aside from the negative backlash Attorney General Bondi received over the February 27 record release, what was the purpose of placing almost 1,000 FBI IMD personnel on 24-hour shifts to review Epstein-related records over the course of a two-week period in March?
Why were personnel told to flag records in which President Trump was mentioned?
Why is the July 7 memorandum making the two official findings regarding Jeffrey Epstein unsigned by any DOJ or FBI officials?
Please describe in detail the process that occurred in the three-month period between April and the July 7 memorandum, after the March review of documents, that led to the findings in the July 7 memorandum.
What was the nature of the dispute between you and White House and DOJ officials after the release of the July 7 memorandum?
Are there additional Epstein-related records that Attorney General Bondi is preventing the FBI from releasing to the public or preparing for public release?
Durbin requests that the answers be sent to him by August 1.
These are questions I, as well, would love the answers to. But as best as I can tell, Bongino has yet to respond.
July 26, 2025
Bongino posts a long and cryptic tweet from the official @FBIDDBongino account:
During my tenure here as the Deputy Director of the FBI, I have repeatedly relayed to you that things are happening that might not be immediately visible, but they are happening.
The Director and I are committed to stamping out public corruption and the political weaponization of both law enforcement and intelligence operations. It is a priority for us. But what I have learned in the course of our properly predicated and necessary investigations into these aforementioned matters, has shocked me down to my core. We cannot run a Republic like this. I’ll never be the same after learning what I’ve learned.
We are going to conduct these righteous and proper investigations by the book and in accordance with the law. We are going to get the answers WE ALL DESERVE. As with any investigation, I cannot predict where it will land, but I can promise you an honest and dignified effort at truth. Not “my truth,” or “your truth,” but THE TRUTH.
God bless America, and all those who defend Her.
Respectfully,
Dan
November 30, 2025
Miranda Devine of the New York Post breaks the story of the FBI “alliance” report, under the headline, “Damning report labels FBI ‘rudderless ship’ under Kash Patel — with him and Dan Bongino more concerned with building ‘personal résumés.’” Bongino is characterized as a “clown.”
Patel is drowning in bad press.
December 17, 2025
Bongino resigns to spend more time with his family podcast.
The Times story cites an interview he gave to Sean Hannity in early December, after the arrest of the D.C. pipe bomber suspect:
After the arrest earlier this month, Mr. Bongino appeared on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show, where the host asked him to explain his previous claim that the case was an “inside job” abetted by a federal cover-up.
“I was paid in the past, Sean, for my opinions, that’s clear, and one day I will be back in that space — but that’s not what I’m paid for now,” Mr. Bongino said.
He added: “I’m paid to be your deputy director, and we base investigations on facts.”
This suggests that, unlike most MAGA, Bongino does understand the difference.
January 3, 2026
Bongino’s last day at the FBI.
Both the news stories and the “alliance” report suggest that Bongino prioritized his standing with his MAGA audience above all—podcast über alles. Everything in the timeline supports that assertion. He missed his old media job, he always intended to return to it, and he wasn’t going to do anything as FBI Deputy Director to fuck that up. Every public move he made was one that could burnish his reputation and set up whatever hero story he chose to tell after he bailed; he was preemptively controlling the narrative. Even that cryptic tweet can be read as a teaser for future podcast programming.
But there is another possibility.
In the Haberman/Swan book excerpt, Bongino comes off like one of the good guys, righteously infuriated by the slow progress of the Epstein Files release. What if he…is? What if that enigmatic tweet was him telling us that, as Deputy Director, he’s seen the files, knows the truth, but can’t legally reveal it? What if he meant what he told Hannity—that “I’m paid to be your deputy director, and we base investigations on facts?” What if his prominence in the Haberman/Swan reporting is his way of getting the story out? Could it be that Dan Bongino, of all people, is going to be the one who brings it all down?
Is Bongino a MAGA mad hatter? Or is he a white hat?
The odds are certainly on the former. But in a world in which the President of the United States is a mobbed-up, Kremlin-owned racist and serial sexual assailant who was best friends with the most notorious child sex trafficker in recent memory, and was last seen turning the South Lawn of the White House into a pop-up county fair, capitulating to Iran on a war he started, and pretending he’s fit as a fiddle…anything is possible.
More likely, I’m the one that’s gone mad; my DTS is real; I’ve huffed too much mercuric nitrate on the way to the Danbury Trader Joe’s, and this “white hat” theory is nothing more than a case of the Danbongino Shakes.
Photo credit: Bongino’s official portrait.
Superb, Greg, "The odds are certainly on the former. But in a world in which the President of the United States is a mobbed-up, Kremlin-owned racist and serial sexual assailant who was best friends with the most notorious child sex trafficker in recent memory, and was last seen turning the South Lawn of the White House into a pop-up county fair, capitulating to Iran on a war he started, and pretending he’s fit as a fiddle…anything is possible."
Interesting! The part infuriates me is knowing how many folks *HAVE* READ "the bad parts." They have knowledge of WHAT HAPPENED.
IMO, SOMEONE needs to break ranks and TALK... SOON!
DB — "But what I have learned in the course of our properly predicated and necessary investigations into these aforementioned matters, has shocked me down to my core. We cannot run a Republic like this. I’ll never be the same after learning what I’ve learned."