There's a point in which life stops giving you things and starts to take them away.
Many of our deepest motives come not from adult logic of how things work in the world, but out of something that is frozen from childhood.
Ernest Becker wrote in The Denial of Death: “To live fully is to live with an awareness of the rumble of terror that underlies everything.”
“I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief… For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.” – Wendell Berry
Historian Will Durant possibly said it the best: “The past is not dead. Indeed, it is often not even past.”
Oh Greg, I understand the excited and exhausting turmoil of sending your two kids off to college. Mine were 3 grades apart, but both were gut-wrenching. Just remember they will come back many times.
On getting old- I am almost 69 and it is not fun. Physically things start to hurt, in my case I can’t do 1/2 the stuff I used to. And the mind, like you described, is another story. Fogginess of thinking, decision making, old memories replacing current happenings. Maybe it’s the way our mind prepares us for more and more losses in this life.
Thank you for your beautiful essay, and for introducing me to “Katalin Street”.
Thanks, Helen. There is an account on Insta called Hard Times News that's sort of Onion-like, but lately has been better. One of the headlines was "Oh No: After 25, All Injuries Are Permanent." I thought that was amusing...
The memory stuff has to be part of how the brain stores so much information. But no one really knows for sure.
"We read to know we are not alone." Thank you, Greg for this thoughtful piece. I'll see (perhaps) my 75th birthday in October. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding us that we are all part of this magical mystery tour. Be well.
I turn 75 in October also! My empty nest moments occurred when I was in my late 40's and my daughter (only child) got married. Even though she had moved out the year before and I enjoyed being sole occupant I ended up crying for 3 days after she got married. What triggered me was when I found her shot records and realized she was an adult now and I needed to hand them over to her. To be honest I was surprised at how emotional I got.
Regarding aging, I like the CS Lewis quotation you shared and I appreciate the reminder.
Happy early birthday! It's funny, what prompts the tears. I thought I would cry dropping them off, but I didn't. But I could see how the shot records would do it. Little objects. It makes sense to me.
Wonderful essay and book review Greg. My wife and I have been empty nesters for about 5 years now. Someone once said to me when we were expecting our first child, “life truly begins when you have children”. It is reasonable that your current stage of life is also momentous.
I read now more than I ever have and love the connection to writers’ worlds (C. S. Lewis was indeed correct).
ps I also enjoy reading more after seeing your enthusiasm for it, TY
pps I did zoom in on your bookshelf to see what other treasures you have
Thanks, Carl. That is but one snapshot of the biggest bookshelf. There are three others, plus the ones built into the wall on the other side of the room. I am literally surrounded by books in here...
Based on what I read here, your mind has every bit as much left in the tank as you believe it has. My birthday is about 11 days and 22 years before yours. I've never had a good memory. Memory storage requires focusing long enough to record data onto one's hard drive. I've been too busy exploring and looking forward to stop and focus much. Also, now, there's considerably more data in my memory banks. As any computer would agree, with a full hard drive, it takes a second longer to access data.
As for only one or two places mattering, to me they ALL matter. My occupation of world travel affected every cell. My inner computer works differently from those of my small-town neighbors who've never left their state. Places and their people, perspectives, customs, sights, smells, and sounds do matter.
But my life has become strangely symmetrical. My parents never told me there are things I can't do because I'm a "girl." Somehow, even my school didn't tell me. I learn it that strange, absurd fact out in the work world. That, shock, I can't forget.
Now, a ridiculous law forced me to retire from flying. That, I expected. But with degrees, training, and experience in a wide variety of occupations, I fully intended to continue working in some other field. (I am, by shocking choice, one of those useless POS women with no offspring. Due to allergies, I can't even have a cat.) Of course the darkness had been suggested in many ways, but Life had not sufficiently warned me about the pure, black, greed-filled hatred of youth for age. "Wisdom of age"?? Ha! With credentials up the ying yang. I've applied for more than 100 jobs. Maybe 200. I forget. Things go well until my birth date is discovered. How dare I expect a job at my age! A younger contractor friend assures me I'd be hired if an employer could see how young I look. Right. Backhand age discrimination. And unfortunately, face-to-face is out of fashion. So now, I feel the same ugly shock as when I encountered sex discrimination. Greed motivated, absurd discrimination against The Different--that's the Darkness that haunts me.
As a travel expert, this is my professional advice for The Journey: A mind is like a cucumber. If stuck on a shelf rather than used, it'll rot. So start your own business. In your advanced years, the boss will be less to fire you for the terrible sin of too many birthdays. And ignore the (rampant in our town) trend toward trade school instead of college. So what if plumbers make more money than writers. People are made of minuses and pluses. The pluses, the best of humankind leave in philosophy, writing, painting -- in ideas and emotions that, unlike plumbing and money, are eligible to accompany first-class ticket holders on their journey to the Great Beyond. Bon Voyage to us all.
Thanks, Maureen. That part of the book, about the places that matter, didn't resonate as much with me as the rest. At night, lying in bed, I will often have some random place pop into my head out of nowhere. For no reason. A random setting that means nothing. It's fun, sometimes, to see what my brain will land on. I'm not sure why that is, as in my dreams, I'm almost never somewhere real.
The business world is, and always has been, dumb about how they hire. Focusing too much on stuff that doesn't matter rather than what does. (I say this as a former HR guy and recruiter.) That was the cool thing about the journalist managers...if the intern could do the job, they could care less if they finished school. My brother was an RN in the ER for many years, and he said that once you got in there, your education and background meant nothing. It was just: are you reliable and can you do this.
Paul Z wrote this to me, and I don't think he'll object to share this part of it here: "The other is how clearly I now realize that my literary life has been a roadmap for where I've been and a compass for where I may have yet to go. All to a point where I can now feel sorry for those who were never trained to read, enjoy, and apply great literature along with the other arts. the way some have pointed out what a Shakespearian moment we have just witnessed with Joe Biden's abdication."
Trade schools are wonderful for kids who want to go into the trades, but we downgrade higher education at our collective peril.
My daughter was an RN in the ER at major children’s hospital for many years, she would agree. I have known a few educated idiots, sad to say. A couple when I worked at NASA. They didn’t last long…
My latest pup is now 17 mos old, a 65 lb gorgeous black standard poodle. I’m 84. The breeder upon learning my age then a mere 83 insisted on coming here from N Carolina w pup to actually see me before agreeing to my ‘adopting’ him.
His godmother is 20yrs younger, not necc stronger though. (I was a dancer & yoga teacher.) And Greg, my mind seems sharper than when I was more akin to a gazelle or as flexible as a contortionist that eventually cost me replaced hips. Lost? Running leaping sitting cross legged. Gains are deepening compassion, writing more poetry, appreciation of now, laughing at myself, seeing into things, freedom from self consciousness, letting go of stuff, and a deepening love without compulsions for a particular someone
that I find thrilling. Obsessions that drove me vamoosed. I actually appreciate the invitation to be here as I’ve witnessed too many of my friends leave their journeys. They are not forgotten. They come w me as I have been gifted with feelings be it pain, joy, or the grand piano of feelings we have been gifted with as humans. It’s a privilege.
And Greg I love how your mind leaps from Nabokov to babe Paley. You are a light and a delight.
We are very grateful for the light you bring to our lives here on Prevail, Greg. You seem to have a never-ending supply to dispense to your substack readers, podcast listeners and Five/8 watchers! My wish is for you to continue to have many, many more miles to go before you sleep.
Cancer sucks ass, Carl! I can only wish you the best in the future, as we both know that prayers are hollow little things equivalent to fortune cookies in their usefulness.
First, I seem to be one of the youngest readers here, at 66, and although I am an independent contractor for an insurance auditing company, I've started to remind them that at 66 years and 8 months (Oct 5th), I could happily retire at any time, so don't piss me off! They don't, but the promise is there.
Secondly, I have to take exception to Magda's VERY bleak view of getting older. The truth is there IS wisdom, serenity, sound judgement, and tranquility. Of COURSE, there is also the "awareness of universal disintegration" (Jesus Christ, Magda, take a vacation out of Hungary!), but my opinion is if "universal disintegration" is what you're concentrating on, there can be almost nothing else BUT fear. I don't find myself LONGING for my youth. I like where I am, what I do, how I think, and how I live my life. Anything else, it seems to me, is wasting the time we have left.
Nabokov, in Speak, Memory: “The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.”
This struck me as probably my favorite quote you cited in the piece. I could do without that "cradle rocks above an abyss" bullshit, but the rest of it speaks to me. Our lifespans seem so long to us, although in hindsight, maybe not, but they are just a speck in the whole scheme of world history. There are times I think of all the people I know, and know OF, in my own timeline and wonder how it is that we all are living in the same timeline as they are. Kamala Harris. Alex Murdaugh. Jeffrey Dahmer. Elizabeth Taylor. Liza Minnelli. Leonardo DiCaprio. Donald Trump. Armie Hammer. Joe Biden. Greg Olear. It's, to me, kind of amazing, that for one reason or another, we're sharing space with these people, and so many more. A hundred years either side of now don't have ANY of these people in it, and yet, here we all are. On either side of our lives is eternal darkness.
BUT if we dwell on the eternal darkness either side of our lives, especially the coming eternal darkness, no good can come of our lives except pondering our own mortality, and who wants to do that? Well, Magda Szabó, apparently, but it seems depressing and bleak. Am I in denial about my mortality? No, of course not. We go on until we don't. In the world of my beliefs, there is no Great Book of Death in the sky that has our DATE written down -- that, of course, can neither be proved nor disproved, but it's what I believe.
Abraham Lincoln re-coined the phrase, "This too shall pass," and it's, as it was originally written, true in all cases. I gather it originated in Persia, and it applies in ALL situations, life, hard times, GOOD times, and, naturally, when your kids go off to college. The readjustment of the household will occur naturally, and although I have no children, I know that when I would come home from college to my parents' house, it was ALWAYS a happy occasion. On my first Christmas break, I found an exercise bike in my old bedroom! The bed and dresser were still there, but there was that bike too. Everything adjusts. EveryONE adjusts. It's how we're made. This too shall pass.
Thanks for this, Steve. I was a little concerned about sharing this, for fear that it might come off as too bleak. And I don't feel bleak. I just feel more aware. The book is about living through Communist Hungary, which sucked. Heck, it sucks to live there now, under Orban, even though Budapest is reportedly the most beautiful city in Central Europe. So I give her some slack.
That's a great point about all the people who happen to be alive at the same time. I saw that when I wrote my Byzantine book. The first thing I did was make a spreadsheet of who was how old when. Because all of that matters. Like, how remarkable is it that Paul McCartney, John Lennon, and George Harrison ALL grew up in Liverpool, the, what sixth largest city in Britain, AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy!
Similarly, people can be important for a period and not important after. I mentioned in the piece watching the Capote show. I haven't read anything of his, I don't think, and in my mind he's sort of a passe writer. No one ever made a big deal about him, in college or after, the way they did about, say, Flannery O'Connor. I had no idea how famous he was, how he influenced the literature of the day. But at the time, he was king of the world.
Ha ha, my kids are ALREADY home, on this, their first long weekend. And it is slightly different. It will be fascinating to see how it develops from here...
This too shall pass, indeed! One of the greatest music videos ever made:
As someone still working as a software developer at 83, I can offer my opinion that declining memory is one of the least bothersome aspects of aging. Sure, it’s harder to remember names and some details, but the things you focus on daily keep serving you and the subconscious mind does a good job of recall. If I could choose between the memory of my fifties in my current body or the degraded memory in the body of my fifties I’d choose the latter in a heartbeat.
Thanks for this, Earl. It's not the same thing, but when I had covid, my memory went weird for a good month. Things would take 30 seconds longer to pop into my brain. I found it more amusing than annoying, like I was high.
Two things: 1) When I went to college as a new freshman, my Dad took me there in his car. I took one suitcase of clothes. Thinks seem to have changed. 2) I'm 88, and know what you're talking about regarding losing memories and names. They say the nouns are the first to go, and that's been my experience. I tell myself it's natural, but it's still frustrating sometimes. Of course, there are things you'd rather not remember, too.
The kids do seem to take more stuff with them, but a lot of it is towels and food and school supplies. I think the computer I took to school took up way more space that these laptops.
Yes, things we'd rather not remember. Interesting, how our brains can protect us...
Thanks for reminding me to read Magda Szabó. I’ve already read her book “The Door” & recommend it highly.
Thanks. I'm only 10 pages in so far, and it's obviously quite good.
Some of my favorite quotes on life passing
There's a point in which life stops giving you things and starts to take them away.
Many of our deepest motives come not from adult logic of how things work in the world, but out of something that is frozen from childhood.
Ernest Becker wrote in The Denial of Death: “To live fully is to live with an awareness of the rumble of terror that underlies everything.”
“I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief… For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.” – Wendell Berry
Historian Will Durant possibly said it the best: “The past is not dead. Indeed, it is often not even past.”
Life swirls by like a drunken wildfire
Unknown
I think Faulkner said what you've attributed to Durant.
May be this. “It is a mistake to think that the past is dead. Nothing that has ever happened is without influence at this moment.”
Love Will and Wendell.
Yeah, they do both get at the heart of shit.
Well said
Thanks for sharing those quotes, Mary.
Oh Greg, I understand the excited and exhausting turmoil of sending your two kids off to college. Mine were 3 grades apart, but both were gut-wrenching. Just remember they will come back many times.
On getting old- I am almost 69 and it is not fun. Physically things start to hurt, in my case I can’t do 1/2 the stuff I used to. And the mind, like you described, is another story. Fogginess of thinking, decision making, old memories replacing current happenings. Maybe it’s the way our mind prepares us for more and more losses in this life.
Thank you for your beautiful essay, and for introducing me to “Katalin Street”.
Things will be okay, just different.
Thanks, Helen. There is an account on Insta called Hard Times News that's sort of Onion-like, but lately has been better. One of the headlines was "Oh No: After 25, All Injuries Are Permanent." I thought that was amusing...
The memory stuff has to be part of how the brain stores so much information. But no one really knows for sure.
My mother announced this week she plans on living forever. I don’t doubt her. She’s 93 and pretty stubborn.
I'm not going to say she's wrong.
Bless her!
"We read to know we are not alone." Thank you, Greg for this thoughtful piece. I'll see (perhaps) my 75th birthday in October. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding us that we are all part of this magical mystery tour. Be well.
I turn 75 in October also! My empty nest moments occurred when I was in my late 40's and my daughter (only child) got married. Even though she had moved out the year before and I enjoyed being sole occupant I ended up crying for 3 days after she got married. What triggered me was when I found her shot records and realized she was an adult now and I needed to hand them over to her. To be honest I was surprised at how emotional I got.
Regarding aging, I like the CS Lewis quotation you shared and I appreciate the reminder.
Happy early birthday! It's funny, what prompts the tears. I thought I would cry dropping them off, but I didn't. But I could see how the shot records would do it. Little objects. It makes sense to me.
Thank you, Greg!
Thanks, Lexine, and happy early birthday!
Thanks for this, Greg. I am 73 and it is truly weird. Ah, to be 53 again.....
Thanks, McLain. It's weird to be 73, weird to be 53, weird to be 23. But, you know, good weird, not JD Vance weird. : )
Form is the language of the eternal. That's all you need to remember.
I love that, Rick!
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." Mark Twain
Some may disagree, although I find it difficult to disagree with anything he wrote.
Yes!
Wonderful essay and book review Greg. My wife and I have been empty nesters for about 5 years now. Someone once said to me when we were expecting our first child, “life truly begins when you have children”. It is reasonable that your current stage of life is also momentous.
I read now more than I ever have and love the connection to writers’ worlds (C. S. Lewis was indeed correct).
ps I also enjoy reading more after seeing your enthusiasm for it, TY
pps I did zoom in on your bookshelf to see what other treasures you have
Thanks, Carl. That is but one snapshot of the biggest bookshelf. There are three others, plus the ones built into the wall on the other side of the room. I am literally surrounded by books in here...
Based on what I read here, your mind has every bit as much left in the tank as you believe it has. My birthday is about 11 days and 22 years before yours. I've never had a good memory. Memory storage requires focusing long enough to record data onto one's hard drive. I've been too busy exploring and looking forward to stop and focus much. Also, now, there's considerably more data in my memory banks. As any computer would agree, with a full hard drive, it takes a second longer to access data.
As for only one or two places mattering, to me they ALL matter. My occupation of world travel affected every cell. My inner computer works differently from those of my small-town neighbors who've never left their state. Places and their people, perspectives, customs, sights, smells, and sounds do matter.
But my life has become strangely symmetrical. My parents never told me there are things I can't do because I'm a "girl." Somehow, even my school didn't tell me. I learn it that strange, absurd fact out in the work world. That, shock, I can't forget.
Now, a ridiculous law forced me to retire from flying. That, I expected. But with degrees, training, and experience in a wide variety of occupations, I fully intended to continue working in some other field. (I am, by shocking choice, one of those useless POS women with no offspring. Due to allergies, I can't even have a cat.) Of course the darkness had been suggested in many ways, but Life had not sufficiently warned me about the pure, black, greed-filled hatred of youth for age. "Wisdom of age"?? Ha! With credentials up the ying yang. I've applied for more than 100 jobs. Maybe 200. I forget. Things go well until my birth date is discovered. How dare I expect a job at my age! A younger contractor friend assures me I'd be hired if an employer could see how young I look. Right. Backhand age discrimination. And unfortunately, face-to-face is out of fashion. So now, I feel the same ugly shock as when I encountered sex discrimination. Greed motivated, absurd discrimination against The Different--that's the Darkness that haunts me.
As a travel expert, this is my professional advice for The Journey: A mind is like a cucumber. If stuck on a shelf rather than used, it'll rot. So start your own business. In your advanced years, the boss will be less to fire you for the terrible sin of too many birthdays. And ignore the (rampant in our town) trend toward trade school instead of college. So what if plumbers make more money than writers. People are made of minuses and pluses. The pluses, the best of humankind leave in philosophy, writing, painting -- in ideas and emotions that, unlike plumbing and money, are eligible to accompany first-class ticket holders on their journey to the Great Beyond. Bon Voyage to us all.
Some similar experiences but way short on your enthusiasm. Use the cucumber, who can argue with that…
I can't eat them; they repeat on me something awful. But I do like them. ; )
Thanks, Maureen. That part of the book, about the places that matter, didn't resonate as much with me as the rest. At night, lying in bed, I will often have some random place pop into my head out of nowhere. For no reason. A random setting that means nothing. It's fun, sometimes, to see what my brain will land on. I'm not sure why that is, as in my dreams, I'm almost never somewhere real.
The business world is, and always has been, dumb about how they hire. Focusing too much on stuff that doesn't matter rather than what does. (I say this as a former HR guy and recruiter.) That was the cool thing about the journalist managers...if the intern could do the job, they could care less if they finished school. My brother was an RN in the ER for many years, and he said that once you got in there, your education and background meant nothing. It was just: are you reliable and can you do this.
Paul Z wrote this to me, and I don't think he'll object to share this part of it here: "The other is how clearly I now realize that my literary life has been a roadmap for where I've been and a compass for where I may have yet to go. All to a point where I can now feel sorry for those who were never trained to read, enjoy, and apply great literature along with the other arts. the way some have pointed out what a Shakespearian moment we have just witnessed with Joe Biden's abdication."
Trade schools are wonderful for kids who want to go into the trades, but we downgrade higher education at our collective peril.
My daughter was an RN in the ER at major children’s hospital for many years, she would agree. I have known a few educated idiots, sad to say. A couple when I worked at NASA. They didn’t last long…
Maureen. YES 🙌
With great respect I agree.
My latest pup is now 17 mos old, a 65 lb gorgeous black standard poodle. I’m 84. The breeder upon learning my age then a mere 83 insisted on coming here from N Carolina w pup to actually see me before agreeing to my ‘adopting’ him.
His godmother is 20yrs younger, not necc stronger though. (I was a dancer & yoga teacher.) And Greg, my mind seems sharper than when I was more akin to a gazelle or as flexible as a contortionist that eventually cost me replaced hips. Lost? Running leaping sitting cross legged. Gains are deepening compassion, writing more poetry, appreciation of now, laughing at myself, seeing into things, freedom from self consciousness, letting go of stuff, and a deepening love without compulsions for a particular someone
that I find thrilling. Obsessions that drove me vamoosed. I actually appreciate the invitation to be here as I’ve witnessed too many of my friends leave their journeys. They are not forgotten. They come w me as I have been gifted with feelings be it pain, joy, or the grand piano of feelings we have been gifted with as humans. It’s a privilege.
And Greg I love how your mind leaps from Nabokov to babe Paley. You are a light and a delight.
We are very grateful for the light you bring to our lives here on Prevail, Greg. You seem to have a never-ending supply to dispense to your substack readers, podcast listeners and Five/8 watchers! My wish is for you to continue to have many, many more miles to go before you sleep.
Thanks so much, Lynell!
Interesting column.
Multiple responses.
First: At 84 years of age I am what people call an Athiest.
I may not believe in man's mythical inventions but currently I am reading Sebastian Jungers,
"In My Time of Dying"
Last week I was diagnosed with aggressive esophageal cancer.
A few weeks before the diagnoses I read
"Learning How to Die in the Anthropocene by Roy Scranton.
I'm giving copies to all my doctors.
Second: "Engineering "
That's what's killing us. Oppenheimer.
"With out Lamps"
I'm opposed to Artificial light.
Amoukar
Cancer sucks ass, Carl! I can only wish you the best in the future, as we both know that prayers are hollow little things equivalent to fortune cookies in their usefulness.
I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, Cal. Wishing you peace and comfort.
Oh, Cal, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope the doctors are wrong about the severity.
I do think it's VERY you to give all your doctors copies of that book.
Sending you wishes (and prayers although you don't believe in them!) for better health.
First, I seem to be one of the youngest readers here, at 66, and although I am an independent contractor for an insurance auditing company, I've started to remind them that at 66 years and 8 months (Oct 5th), I could happily retire at any time, so don't piss me off! They don't, but the promise is there.
Secondly, I have to take exception to Magda's VERY bleak view of getting older. The truth is there IS wisdom, serenity, sound judgement, and tranquility. Of COURSE, there is also the "awareness of universal disintegration" (Jesus Christ, Magda, take a vacation out of Hungary!), but my opinion is if "universal disintegration" is what you're concentrating on, there can be almost nothing else BUT fear. I don't find myself LONGING for my youth. I like where I am, what I do, how I think, and how I live my life. Anything else, it seems to me, is wasting the time we have left.
Nabokov, in Speak, Memory: “The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.”
This struck me as probably my favorite quote you cited in the piece. I could do without that "cradle rocks above an abyss" bullshit, but the rest of it speaks to me. Our lifespans seem so long to us, although in hindsight, maybe not, but they are just a speck in the whole scheme of world history. There are times I think of all the people I know, and know OF, in my own timeline and wonder how it is that we all are living in the same timeline as they are. Kamala Harris. Alex Murdaugh. Jeffrey Dahmer. Elizabeth Taylor. Liza Minnelli. Leonardo DiCaprio. Donald Trump. Armie Hammer. Joe Biden. Greg Olear. It's, to me, kind of amazing, that for one reason or another, we're sharing space with these people, and so many more. A hundred years either side of now don't have ANY of these people in it, and yet, here we all are. On either side of our lives is eternal darkness.
BUT if we dwell on the eternal darkness either side of our lives, especially the coming eternal darkness, no good can come of our lives except pondering our own mortality, and who wants to do that? Well, Magda Szabó, apparently, but it seems depressing and bleak. Am I in denial about my mortality? No, of course not. We go on until we don't. In the world of my beliefs, there is no Great Book of Death in the sky that has our DATE written down -- that, of course, can neither be proved nor disproved, but it's what I believe.
Abraham Lincoln re-coined the phrase, "This too shall pass," and it's, as it was originally written, true in all cases. I gather it originated in Persia, and it applies in ALL situations, life, hard times, GOOD times, and, naturally, when your kids go off to college. The readjustment of the household will occur naturally, and although I have no children, I know that when I would come home from college to my parents' house, it was ALWAYS a happy occasion. On my first Christmas break, I found an exercise bike in my old bedroom! The bed and dresser were still there, but there was that bike too. Everything adjusts. EveryONE adjusts. It's how we're made. This too shall pass.
Thanks for this, Steve. I was a little concerned about sharing this, for fear that it might come off as too bleak. And I don't feel bleak. I just feel more aware. The book is about living through Communist Hungary, which sucked. Heck, it sucks to live there now, under Orban, even though Budapest is reportedly the most beautiful city in Central Europe. So I give her some slack.
That's a great point about all the people who happen to be alive at the same time. I saw that when I wrote my Byzantine book. The first thing I did was make a spreadsheet of who was how old when. Because all of that matters. Like, how remarkable is it that Paul McCartney, John Lennon, and George Harrison ALL grew up in Liverpool, the, what sixth largest city in Britain, AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy!
Similarly, people can be important for a period and not important after. I mentioned in the piece watching the Capote show. I haven't read anything of his, I don't think, and in my mind he's sort of a passe writer. No one ever made a big deal about him, in college or after, the way they did about, say, Flannery O'Connor. I had no idea how famous he was, how he influenced the literature of the day. But at the time, he was king of the world.
Ha ha, my kids are ALREADY home, on this, their first long weekend. And it is slightly different. It will be fascinating to see how it develops from here...
This too shall pass, indeed! One of the greatest music videos ever made:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qybUFnY7Y8w
Speaking of being alive at the same time... https://youtu.be/ln3wAdRAim4
Nice Sunday read old friend… 😄👊🫵
Thank you, good sir!
As someone still working as a software developer at 83, I can offer my opinion that declining memory is one of the least bothersome aspects of aging. Sure, it’s harder to remember names and some details, but the things you focus on daily keep serving you and the subconscious mind does a good job of recall. If I could choose between the memory of my fifties in my current body or the degraded memory in the body of my fifties I’d choose the latter in a heartbeat.
Thanks for this, Earl. It's not the same thing, but when I had covid, my memory went weird for a good month. Things would take 30 seconds longer to pop into my brain. I found it more amusing than annoying, like I was high.
Two things: 1) When I went to college as a new freshman, my Dad took me there in his car. I took one suitcase of clothes. Thinks seem to have changed. 2) I'm 88, and know what you're talking about regarding losing memories and names. They say the nouns are the first to go, and that's been my experience. I tell myself it's natural, but it's still frustrating sometimes. Of course, there are things you'd rather not remember, too.
The kids do seem to take more stuff with them, but a lot of it is towels and food and school supplies. I think the computer I took to school took up way more space that these laptops.
Yes, things we'd rather not remember. Interesting, how our brains can protect us...